Freedom, Resentment,and Happyness
by lumosriver144
Summary: When Rodulphus was given the orders to go after the Longbottoms he begins to have second thoughts, but goes through with it anyway. Once in Azkaban he contemplates freedom. Writen for thegoodgirldoll's challenge Regretful/Having Someone to Pour Your...


**A/N: Hey, this is my first story it is uber short so sorry 'bout that but yeah. It was writen for thegoodgirldoll's challenge Regretful/Having Someone to Pour you Heart Out to. Hope you enjoy! Read and review, s'il vous plaît! Merci!**

The task was not an easy one; the exact opposite really. He wasn't sure if he would be able to complete it, but he had to. If he didn't he would regret it. Forever. The Dark Lord had threatened his wife. His beautiful Bellatrix, as borderline insane as she may be, was in danger, and he loved her. Therefore he would not allow her to be hurt in anyway by anyone, especially a man more insane then she herself. He would either have to listen to him and do everything he asked or run, and run far, but he knew the Dark Lord. What fate would come to his beautiful Bella if he left? He knew that she was too in awe of her master to follow him, and he would not leave her behind.

He knew the things he was doing and the things he had done were evil, but who was he to stand up to the Dark Lord? He might, even if it might be giving up his own life, but what about dear Bella?

He didn't want to do this but what chose did he have?

Well, he did the task they were asked to perform and look at where they are now; being carted off to Azkaban to rot with Dementors for the rest of their lives. He felt nothing but bitterness, resentment, and anger. The pain filled up inside of him. It consumed him, until the very limit of his being; he heard nothing, saw nothing, except for the orders, their screams of pain, his wife's maniac laugh… He couldn't stand it. What had she become? Was he any better?

He heard The Dark Lord give the orders a day before his defeat; to extract the needed information at any cost. Then make it so that they would not remember a thing… He now resented the man. He couldn't stand to think of his wife just a few cells down who was still screaming about how he would come for them how they would be honored above the rest…

He didn't know how long it had been; could have been years or days or even hours. He didn't know, but the resentment continued to build. He despised the man who felt pleasure in other people's pain. How could he have ever respected this man? How did he ever consider him a 'lord'? It was disgusting really. Voldemort's strive towards immorality was quite sad actually. He didn't know why, and he most certainly didn't know how, but he pitied the man a little. Maybe it would all work out. He would search everywhere for repentance. Hopefully he would find it, but he had no clue where.

Everything was different. He saw everything in a new light. He felt happiness again. Well, what little he has. He never really believed there would be a break out, but none the less he was happy there was. What he wasn't happy about though, was the fact that he would not be staying. Voldemort stole his freedom from him a long time ago, and he wasn't about to be sucked into servant hood again. He would stay out of this war. His only regret would be leaving Bellatrix behind, but he knew he didn't matter to her anymore.

He left quickly and quietly in the night, for if he was found he would end up like Karkaroff. That was not something he could afford. The only escape he could think of was America; no one there knew of his crimes in England and it just might be far enough away that Voldemort wouldn't find him.

He searched everywhere far and wide looking and looking for his answers. He continued to try and find repentance, but he hadn't found the right place. He went to a church, but they didn't help at all; they said was that he had to confess his sins to some high priest guy. He knew immediately that this wasn't the answer because a mere mortal wouldn't have the ability to forgive your sins. He continued to search. He had almost given up on religion, but he decided to try one more place, one more church. He found something. He found someone. He found God. He didn't know anything about the religion except that the God forgave all your sins, every last one of them, when you asked him to. He didn't know what he was doing, but once he got home to the cheap apartment he started to pray. Something he thought he would never do in his entire life.

He poured his heart out. He confessed to this God every last sin that he could remember right down to lying to his parents about brushing his teeth when he was five. He was convicted. He thanked God too though. He thanked him for listening, for accepting and forgiving, and for the freedom he returned to him. His resentment went away. He laid it down at Gods feet and He took it upon himself. While he would never fully forgive Voldemort for taking his freedom for all those years, he got over his resentment, and that's what mattered to him. Rodulphus Lestrange was finally whole and happy once again.


End file.
